the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
