yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
