Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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