people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
