How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
