Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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