Your dad touched me again.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
