Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
