SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
