the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
