If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
