drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
