11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
