We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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