it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
