hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
ttyl tear gas
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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