R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
