i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sober January is a disaster.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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