Your dad touched me again.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
