smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
