I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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