How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
