Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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