Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
