Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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