I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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