I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
