he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
