You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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