Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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