doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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