"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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