She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
