So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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