google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
