Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Randomize
