I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
