just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
