Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
