thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
