It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
