i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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