I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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