no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
