the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
