Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
