Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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