i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
