So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
