Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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