I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
